OK, this blog is supposed to be fun, and I feel like I’m a Debbie Downer. But here’s what’s on my mind today…
Last night my husband asked me if our 7 month old ever made eye contact with me. I answered quickly, because I too, had noticed that he doesn’t seem to respond as quickly as I think he should, or as his brother did. He also doesn’t seem to answer when I say his name. It’s almost like he’s ignoring us, or he doesn’t hear it. This started a whole night of me Googling - the devil when it comes to diagnosing what may or may not be whatever disorder your child may or may not have.
First, he is the most engaging, smiley baby. He laughs, and he makes eye contact when he laughs. He gets super excited when we enter the room. He hears us, and loves to listen to music. His physical development is right on (though I was watching a video of his big bro at the same age the other night, and there are certain things he’s not doing yet(banging objects together)). The two boys have totally different personalities. T was and is a quiet observer, while Z is a mad man, so full of energy. When I try to play patty cake, he’s pulling away so he can go look at something else. Is that just his personality, or is there something wrong? These are the questions that torment parents today. On the web, there are many “Milestone” lists. One site says kids should recognize and “answer” to their names by 4 months, while another says to be concerned if they aren’t yet doing it at 12 months. Ugh! It is so hard to be a parent. When do I worry? It doesn’t get easier the second time around, and it might be worse because of the comparisons you make to an older child, or friends’ kids.
In my Googling, I saw the 1 in 88 number for Autism, with the rate for boys 1 in 54. ONE IN FIFTY-FOUR. My particular group of friends and acquaintances has produced a brood of boys (watch out girls!) and I can’t help but wonder – who will it be? Is it my baby boy, who for some reason ignores me when I call his name? Will we all (hopefully) be lucky enough to escape this diagnosis? It’s not the end of the world, but I can’t get that sad little nagging feeling out of my head.
I, in no way want to make light of Autism or any other childhood diagnosis. I know that baby Z is probably just fine, and is just developing at his own rate. I know that I am not alone, however, in the struggle to know whether my child is “normal”. And I’m guessing that struggle won’t end for another few years…or ever?
